Parable: The Best Buy Security Guard

Imagine two teenage boys hanging around a Best Buy after hours, one of whom was applying there as a security guard. The applicant thought that if he wore an Apple Watch he would be more likely of getting the job. The friend, with whom he had done lots of business transactions (most of them shady) offered, “Hey, how about I break into the Best Buy and get it for you.” The applicant replied, “Sure, in fact, I think that you should.” The friend broke into the store and stole the watch, and the crime was caught on surveillance and the footage was sent to the police. While raiding the building he also took a picture of the application of the other applicant, giving him an uneven advantage. 

The next day during the interview, the employer was impressed with his style and distinction from the other applicant and remarked, “That’s a cool watch. We like employees who are tech savvy and suave. You’re hired!”

The manager couldn’t keep his eyes off of the employee’s watch, and one day when he took it off to wash his hands, he checked the serial number and compared it with the one stolen. That same week the police apprehended the friend and called the employee to testify. In his defense, the young security guard said, “Well, the guy who stole it didn’t really steal it. I mean, he might have stolen it, but I didn’t steal it. I barely know the guy, and even if I did it wouldn’t matter. There’s no evidence that I colluded with him to steal it. It might have been stolen, but it might not have been. Things get stolen, but I didn’t do it, and I didn’t collude with him to steal your watch. The watch has been stolen. Sad really. I’m not going to return the watch, because what was done was done. It’s past history and time to move on.”

Best Buy made a formal inquiry to the police who had an audio recording of the security guard encouraging him to do it, but because he didn’t actually do the stealing himself, they could not arrest him. To add insult to injury, during the two weeks between the guard’s hiring and the apprehension of his friend, he made no attempt to protect thieves from stealing from the store. Theft rose to an all-time high, and he continued to treat his accomplice like best friends. Best Buy decided to fire the employee, but he threatened to sue the company because he was never arrested. “If you fire me I will sue, because it’s discrimination against innocent people, which I am.” Best Buy never received a full police report (just a redacted version), because as it turns out, they employee’s dad was the police chief who went through great lengths to shield the report. The employee lived happily ever after using his position to exploit his employer.

The End.

Donald Trump and Mitch McConnell have recently blocked legislation to ensure the safety of the general election. My only guess is that they want to encourage Russia to interfere again, because it helped them to win in 2016. They are a clear and present danger to the security of our democracy, and they need to go.

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